Today we’d like to introduce you to Lisa Alexander.
Hi Lisa, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstories with our readers?
I experienced domestic violence in my first marriage. I met him when I was 19. I was the worship leader at church and he worked in the sound booth. I thought that this was meant to be. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. We got married when I was 23 and before long, I found myself being controlled. Where I went, what I wore, who I spoke to, the hours I worked, etc.
When I became pregnant with our first child, that is when it became physically abusive. I was shocked and devastated, but I didn’t even know it was abuse. I knew that it hurt, but I didn’t have a word for it. The abuse was not even in my vocabulary. I also didn’t believe in divorce. My parents have been married for 55 years so divorce was never something I considered. The abuse was horrible. I was mortified… thinking I’m pregnant with your child… how could you be hurting me.
Well, I loved my husband and wanted it to work so I tried to do everything I could to make it work. Four months after I had my daughter, I got pregnant with my son. I was devastated because I knew that I would never be able to leave. He already had me convinced that no one would ever want me and I believed him, especially now with two young children. He isolated me and kept me away from my family so that I could focus on “us”. I didn’t realize that this was a tactic abuser used.
I stayed for years not realizing that there was another option for me. One night I was watching a lady on YouTube who shared that she was in an abusive relationship, that she got out and was in a new relationship and was happy and thriving. This is the first time that I had heard that you could have a life after abuse. That there was something outside of what I had been living in. That night I picked up my children and we left. It has not been an easy road, but I have been a worthwhile one.
I went back to school and got my BS in Psychology, MS in Counseling Psychology, and am a doctoral candidate with a research focus on domestic violence. I started to Stand Up Survivor Inc. a nonprofit dedicated to helping survivors of abuse and their children. We reach over 1.2 million people a month with domestic violence education, prevention, and awareness.
In January 2022, we opened our transitional home called Love at the Center. Through this, we help survivors find safety and begin their lives of self-sufficiency.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Oh goodness, no! Finding myself again was a feat, and still, some days are difficult. Choosing to push past my fears and failures was so hard. My children were 2 and 3 when I left, and now they are 13 & 14 and two of the greatest human beings I know.
They have stuck by their mamas’ side through it all, and they are my biggest cheerleaders, along with my husband, whom I married in 2016. Learning to trust myself was a big deal. Learning that I could love again was also challenging but worth it. I am so thankful for the gift of being in a healthy, loving marriage.
Going to school at night while working a full-time job and caring for my two young children was hard as well. But I needed to get that education so I could care for them and succeed at my goals. Learning that I was worthy of love and worthy of not being mistreated was also an obstacle.
But I truly believe that there is no obstacle that we can’t face. God has been a consistent and immovable force in my life. He is my source of strength, and I knew that he would always be with me no matter what obstacle I faced.
Any big plans?
I look forward to growing Love at the Center to multiple locations throughout the United States and Abroad.
We currently have ambassadors within the United States and abroad that support the mission of Stand Up Survivor and advocate for survivors in their local areas. We look forward to helping to ensure that survivors of abuse have a voice, have support, and safety.
Contact Info:
- Email: lisa@standupsurvivor.org
- Website: www.standupsurvivor.org
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/standupsurvivor
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/standupsurvivor
- Twitter: www.twitter.com/standupsurvivor
- Youtube: www.youtube.com/standupsurvivor
