Today we’d like to introduce you to Zonovia Proctor.
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
To tell you my story, I would have to take you to the islands. Born in the small city of Freeport, Grand Bahama my childhood on the islands was filled with family, faith and music. In the beginning years it was just my older brother and me, but over time my parents would add my four little brothers to the brood, leaving me as the only girl. I guess in this little way, I have always been different. Gender and gender roles were very important in my cultural upbringing and I found myself the thoughtful, daydreaming, loud singing little girl in a house filled with loud men. I learned really early how to be tough to say the least. My childhood was like many childhoods, rich and full, yet in some ways empty and sad. It was a mix that I wouldn’t come to understand or process for many years to come. My story continues as a sixteen-year-old International Student who came to the US to study music. I can still remember crying in the back of the Chapel of a southern Baptist College in Georgia as my dad left to head back to the Bahamas. I had no clue what I was in for on August 16th, 2001.
What I do recall is that three weeks later, planes flew into buildings in America and my life as an international student and immigrant would never be the same. I came three weeks before 9/11. When I went home for my first break, everything about international travel had changed and really, as I look back, I realize my understanding of the country that I was going to study in changed to. After some tumultuous years, I completed my Bachelors in music (after transferring to Bethune-Cookman University (BC-U) in Daytona Beach, FL. At the time, I didn’t even know what a Historically Black College and University (HBCU) was or why it was significant. I stayed at B-CU for my Masters in Transformative Leadership and even taught there for a few years after. It was really a huge part of the years that I would come to define what my life was going to be like in America. I had never planned to stay but I met my husband and gained a daughter while working at BC-U and as they say, ‘the rest is history’.
Over time, I have truly been blessed with a small but powerful support system in the US, the center of which is my husband. I say all the time, when you see me ‘becoming’ know that he is the one who makes room for me to take up all the space I need to in the world. Even with this company, ‘My Practice’ is simply a part of ‘Our Purpose’. We are both first generation college and graduate students. Our respective families are constantly cheering us on as we begin new chapters and start new legacies. They are the giants whose shoulders we stand on… they are the reason we see further. Currently, I am a wife, mom, business owner, therapist and doctoral student. I am active in my faith community and I love God and people. My plate is full but I wouldn’t change a thing about it.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
It would take all day. Many of my obstacles and challenges are too personal to ever put in writing. I would say that in addition to my own personal journey to wholeness, I really had a difficult time continuing my teenage and young adult years in the US. I came from a country where I learned as a child the colors of my Bahamian flag, I often said as a child ‘aquamarine is for the ocean, gold is for the sand and sun, black is for the strength and the color of the people.’ Very early on, coming to the south, I knew something was different but I didn’t t know what. I had never been taught ‘I had to work twice as hard’ or which environments were possibly unsafe for me. Those early years were confusing as a student as I had no context for why I often was treated differently. It wasn’t something I could fully talk about with anyone at home with full understanding. It wouldn’t be until many years later in my thirties that I really was able to process, through my personal counseling, what that time was like.
In addition, I didn’t have immediate family in the US for any of the major moments, whether good or bad. My parents supported me as much as they could from a distance but I did a lot of life alone and isolated. I had no choice but to depend on universities and the people I met there to support me, especially when I moved to Daytona Beach. I experienced homelessness and displacement that many students face but have normalized. I think I had 13 places I lived, including a hotel and one uncomfortable night in my car while I waited for housing between undergrad and grad school (the first time). It was ‘normal’ for international students… it was also not normal. I will own that there were likely people who would have helped had they known. I will also own that some people reading this may say ‘man if I had known that I would have…’ Yet that’s the point, no-one knew at points because I was that alone.
My faith became the anchoring component for me… God was the only ‘person’ that would always be with me. The truth is, even the name of my practice is grounded in these years and these experiences. I know what it means to survive. Survival is necessary and I spent many years in survival mode. Yet no-one can be healthy and remain solely a survivor… there simply must be more. I am living on the other side of survival and I understand how hard it is to get here. I also understand that many people get so tired along the way that they stop before they see this part. The beautiful part… the worth it part. There is so much that happens between survival and thrive… it is a long, hard, bittersweet road that has hopefully has some meaningful pitstops along the way. It’s a road… sometimes a long one… I have traveled that road… I want to help others do the same.
Appreciate you sharing that. What should we know about Road to Thrive Counseling Services?
I launched my practice in September of 2020 and officially started accepting clients in December of 2020. If you had asked me if I would start a practice last year I would have never thought it, yet with the pandemic, the tense political and racial climate, I felt a call to action that I choose to answer. I have a full client load, based on wanting to start small, in just six weeks of officially being open, and will likely consider offering more availability as time goes. There’s a little about the practice below but really going the website will tell you all you need to know.
Road to Thrive engages in person-centered and solution-focused practices that empower individuals and families to access their resilience and create the meaningful life that they desire. We align with you on the journey of self-discovery, support you on the path to self-acceptance and partner with you in intentional self-actualization. At Road to Thrive, we aim to create a space where clients can bring their full and authentic selves and experience unconditional positive regard. It’s hard to know what you really need when you can’t fully express who you really are. We aim to be a safe space to heal, recover and grow… a place to move beyond surviving… a place to learn to thrive.
If we knew you growing up, how would we have described you?
Things weren’t always easy and I often kept my feelings to myself. For those close to me who know me well, I can be loud, silly, the life of the party. However, it comes in spurts; the battery drains pretty easily. Growing up, I would hide on the roof and read my dad’s old Nancy Drew Books. I read all the classics too, which weren’t common on the island but my Aunt had a small collection of Little Women, the Man with the Iron Mask and so many other amazing books. I loved books. When I was told to go to bed, I would read by the light of the moon way past my bedtime, sometimes watching the sunrise. I could be really quiet until it was time to sing or dance. The arts were my escape. Give me a song and I would choreograph it or arrange it locally in a way that told it’s story.
Being a preacher’s kid (PK), the church was my outlet as I would be able to try out these arrangements with our church youth department. Though I have learned to be outgoing when I need to, I’m still more comfortable in deep conversation or quietly reading. Yet the same remains, give me something I am passionate about, you are likely to see a confident, strong, vocal woman. I’ve changed a lot over the years and also, I’ve changed very little; these two things can coexist.
Contact Info:
- Email: info@myroadtothrive.com
- Website: https://myroadtothrive.com
- Instagram: @myroadtothrive
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/myroadtothrive
- Other: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
Image Credits:
Personal Photo Credit: Kenneth Grant
Inzpirations Photo with Blue Blazer: Kenneth Grant
Inzpirations Photo with me in black and white jacket: Leo Creary Photography
Beverly JAMES
February 8, 2021 at 10:23 pm
Amazing story about an amazing woman!