Life & Work with Angela Owen

Today we’d like to introduce you to Angela Owen.

Angela, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
My story is messy. To be transparent, I have to say it right out of the gate. No sugar coating, no fancy experiences. Just a lot of perseverance, acceptance, and willingness. Life on life’s terms can smack you in the face at any moment. It’s what you do with it that matters. You see, I am human just like you and everyone else. I have made bad choices, I have caused myself harm, others harm and suffered consequences because of it. However, from all that came the life I live today. A wonderful life. Not perfect, not glamorous, not always fun. Just wonderful.

This is my story…

The first four years on Earth were pretty peachy. Mother, father, little ol’ me. Spoiled, not to the extreme but disciplined for sure because well, I needed it. The holidays, visits with the extended family, cousins, the typical scene just like the happy neighbors next door. I remember it vividly. Honestly, I remember being a rambunctious two-year-old. I miss those times. It came to an abrupt halt.

At five, I became a product of a divorced family. Typical with my mother during the week, father on the weekends. This was in the mid 1970’s, not very common back then but did exist. My mother moved around a lot. A LOT. Sometimes twice in the school year, I was always the new kid on the block. I’m solo, with no siblings, so I had no one really to share the experience with. I learned very early on to live behind a mask, become someone I’m not or act like that other cool kid so you would like me. I didn’t realize it then, but I was not doing myself any favors by not being me. Yet it worked, for quite a few years.

Around my tenth birthday while I was with my father on a weekend visit, my mother made a choice to move to another state. No heads up, no goodbyes. There is so much more to that part of the story, however, the point is she left. She made the choice to leave and start a new life elsewhere. My father, the hero that he is, was awarded full custody and it was at that point where things went sideways. Listen, my father didn’t come with instructions on how to raise me. He did the absolute best he could as I was a handful, to say the least. It went sideways because while I had love from my father, I was abandoned and rejected by my mother. That stuck with me. It was something my father and I hardly discussed and I feel that didn’t help the situation at hand. When she left, everything left. The holidays, the family closeness, everything was just gone. I yearned for some sort of normalcy. While the action of her leaving was not my father’s fault, I felt he went into a depression and survival mode not having a clue how to navigate the situation, and most definitely didn’t know how to navigate a rebellious upcoming teenager. Communication didn’t really exist. My father is a man of very few words and his way of dealing with life is the complete opposite of how I handle life. The one thing I needed most was some sort of discussion or acknowledgement from my father that everything was going to be okay. That didn’t happen. The situation was merely stamped, “it’s just life, move on and sweep it under the rug” is how he dealt with it. Our relationship suffered a great deal mostly because she left, but also because of how the entire situation was handled, and it suffered for a very long time.

In those days, moms didn’t leave their children so people would ask uncomfortable questions and I didn’t know how to answer. My father is very shy, still is, and doesn’t really enjoy talking about… well, anything. It was not in the cards for me to ask him how to answer these questions. While classmates and neighborhood kids asked questions, so did some of their parents. To be honest, the parents that questioned were the worst. All I wanted was to be accepted no matter the circumstance and I was judged for what my mother did. At least, that’s how I felt. There were many times I cried myself to sleep at night with feelings of not good enough, I was embarrassed and maybe it was my fault she left. I will say for the record, there were a handful of parents that didn’t ask questions, they simply accepted me into their home. Those are the ones still in my life today and I’m grateful for those friendships.

Not long after the woman that birthed me skipped town, what came next was definitely something I don’t think any of us expected. I found what would numb my feelings of abandonment, rejection, and judgment from others. Once I found a way to numb those feelings, it was easier to deal with life. So I thought. Oh, and I was eleven when I discovered this new way to numb. Little did I know in that moment of time, one way to numb feelings becomes several ways to numb feelings, then it becomes never enough for many, many years.

By the age of twenty-four, I was fully addicted to self-medicating and had no idea at that point where all this would take me. It became dark, depressing, self-loathing. I used the excuse of my mother leaving for years to justify my behavior and choices. I claimed the victim role every chance I got so I could keep medicating. I became a person that no one knew, disliked, was disappointed in, and done with. I felt the same about myself. I no longer felt I could live a half-normal existence so I kept medicating. It became a never ending vicious cycle and at one point, I no longer wanted to live. I didn’t have the guts to take myself out, or maybe something above was keeping me alive for some unknown reason. I just didn’t know what the reason was. Yet.

Fourteen years, four treatment facilities, and some major consequences later, I surrendered. I knew if I didn’t do something, I would die. To be honest, it wasn’t that I actually wanted to stop, even after all those years being caught in the grips of addiction. I think I was just tired and was backed in a corner with no way out except to die of an overdose and for whatever reason, that wasn’t very appealing to me at the time. So the bottom line, I was ready to learn a new way of life. It wasn’t going to be easy.

Before I landed in my last and final treatment facility, I was couch surfing, ducking and running, and doing what I deemed necessary to feed my addiction. My father was done with me, most of my friends and family were done with me, and I had become homeless. I even received divorce papers while I was in treatment. Clearly at my lowest point, I was a disgrace at all levels and had no clue where to start. Little did I know, I had already started by surrendering and checking into treatment again. For the first time ever, I opened my ears to listen, got out of my own way and had the desire to do something different. I found those willing to share their experience, strength, hope, and those that taught me to love myself and practice forgiveness. Days became weeks and weeks became months. Pretty soon I started racking up years of a new way to live. I paid back those I wronged, made amends to those I harmed, got that divorce with my chin up, started being of service, and looked within myself. All those character defects I survived with, I learned to turn them into assets to become the person I was always meant to be.

I enrolled in college for the first time at the ripe old age of forty, graduated with honors, became employable, loving, caring, responsible, trustworthy, honest, and accountable. I began a career in the entertainment industry behind the scenes working in production, to bring awe and joy to those in attendance. I became an events coordinator, a supervisor with the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra, I was a camera operator for live television with the local public broadcasting station and part of the floor production team during live events.

I became the daughter my father deserved and on some days, I fall short in that area. I still seek his approval and want so much for him to know I am okay, and will be okay. Sometimes I think he worries that I can’t do life on my own. Sometimes I don’t think he gives me enough credit, but maybe he does in his own way instead of how I would like him to. What is important though is he and I are closer than we have ever been, yet we still have some work to do, and that’s okay. He has become my best friend and he trusts me today. That in itself is priceless for me.

I moved to Florida seven years ago. I was ready. I had worked so hard to live my life and I was so ready. I worked for Walt Disney in the entertainment department for a short run, I worked alongside high-end executives as an executive assistant and events coordinator. While I enjoyed each adventure and took something with me each time I switched jobs, I still had that lingering thought, “What in the heck am I going to do when I grow up?” Oh, I know!!! Get into real estate. Right when the pandemic hit in March of 2020, that was a good idea! Lol. No. No, it wasn’t. Not at the time. Yet, I kept plugging away because that’s what I was taught to do if I wanted to survive. Remember?

While seasoned agents were benefiting from the pandemic, the newbie wasn’t. That newbie being me. I was lost in the shuffle by lack of guidance, unable to get off the ground as quickly as I desired. However, with one foot in front of the other and many frustrations later, I found the brokerage that welcomed me with open arms. With their encouragement, I have successfully broken into the real estate industry as a proud business owner and accomplished working realtor with the help of an amazing mentor and team willing to guide me towards success. I needed a little push, some pointers, and that encouragement. No matter what we desire in life, sometimes all we need are those people that plant the seed of support. It’s been a very long and bumpy road to get where I am today, and there are many bumps ahead I’m sure. The difference for me now, I have faith it will be okay.

Knowing where I came from all those years ago as that ten-year-old rejected little girl, today I do not allow anyone or any circumstance to hold me back, and I most certainly wasn’t going to allow a pandemic or the opinions of others that perhaps didn’t believe in me, keep me from being successful as I had definitely been through much worse.

I treat my clients and customers as if they are family. I am protective of them. Treating others with respect and excellent customer relations skills sets me apart from the rest. I remember not being treated well and lack of communication for the majority of my life. I keep that reminder in the forefront daily so I make it a point not to do the same to others whether that’s in my personal life or in business. I also remind myself daily, I am human. I’m not better than anyone else, nor am I less than. I am still me, polished from the past, and ready to continue to shine for the future.

By sharing my raw story, I know I set myself up for some sort of judgment. All I can say to that is this: That’s okay. Not everyone is going to like me and that’s okay. Not everyone is going to accept my past and that’s okay. It’s the past. I don’t live there anymore. I now know why I was kept alive through all those years of self-medicating. It’s to help and love others unconditionally and if sharing my story helps just one person, then it was all worth it.

Simply put, I lost my way and fortunately was given another chance, more than once. I was willing to do something different in order to become the person I am today. Do I still beat myself up from time to time? Yes. Do I fall short at times? Yes. However, today I love me and today I love others. I don’t just do life for myself. I do for others by being of service personally and in business with no expectations in return. I support communities and organizations that are near and dear to my heart and anonymously volunteer my time.

In closing, if you are going through trials, tribulations and need help, it’s out there. I am here to help. I never wished upon a star to be addicted. We as children dream of being doctors, lawyers, and teachers. However, even being sidetracked, you can find your way with the hope and strength of others that can relate. All you have to do is remain teachable, listen and do something different. People tell me if they were to look up the word ‘perseverance’, a picture of me would be there. Well. I have to respectfully agree. I am not confused that my story is not unique and I am not unique. What I am is kind. I am confident and I am of value. I matter today.

In conclusion, I am also hopeful. Blessed, empathetic, grateful, and compassionate. I accept where I came from and have visions of where I’m going. While it was not easy to get where I am today, I am for certain that I’m blessed beyond measure and I pinch myself daily to make sure it’s my reality.

Do I have a relationship with my mother today? No. That’s okay. I have forgiven her so therefore, I am free.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Definitely a bumpy road with lots of bruises along the way. Abandonment, rejection, outside judgment from others, and myself getting in my own way have always been my challenge.
I felt unlovable and had no clue how to love anyone or myself for that matter. I never felt “good enough”. I grew up with a lack of communication where it was expected to not talk about anything and just move on. Eventually stuffing all those feelings exploded and that’s when I took a wrong turn along the journey of life, getting lost within self-loathing and self-medicating.

That “never felt good enough” feeling followed me no matter where I went. Thrown in the mix was me. I was and sometimes can still be my own worst enemy. It took me fourteen long years of self-medicating to finally surrender long enough to ask for and receive the help. It wasn’t until I got out of my own way, stopped being a victim, and listened to how others were living a new way of life, that I was able to learn how to love and respect myself.

What do you think about luck?
I’m not sure I call it “luck”. I feel our life journey travels the way it is supposed to.

Now saying that of course, we have to participate in our own lives. We make decisions, face difficult times, and hope for the best. Positive energy and thoughts can determine an outcome. It may not be the exact result we sought after however, because we make a choice to face life in a positive manner whatever the outcome, we will comfortably and miraculously be okay with how it turns out.

Perhaps “luck” for me means fortunate. I am fortunate to be alive today to share my story.

Contact Info:

• Email: angelaowen@remax.net
• Website: angelaowen.remax.com
• Instagram: instagram.com/angelaowen.realtororlandofl/
• Facebook: facebook.com/aowenrealtor8037