Today we’d like to introduce you to Ebony “E’bon’aire” Davis-Martin.
Hi Ebony “E’bon’aire”, so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?
I grew up in Buffalo, NY. I overcame childhood sexual abuse and later domestic abuse. I graduated from City Honors School. Shortly after graduating from high school, I became pregnant with my first child at the age of 19. Determined to “be something” and not be defined by the trauma I experienced, I enrolled at Erie Community College and received my 1st associate degree. I walked across the stage, holding my 3-year-old son’s hand to receive my Dean’s list award.
A few years later, I had two more children. My youngest child received an Autism diagnosis at the age of 5. That was nearly 20 years ago. I moved many times to several states over the years looking for a better school environment for him. It was a challenge to raise 3 children on my own having gone through an unpleasant divorce. I have been homeless several times in my life, but I kept pushing forward each time for the sake of my children so that to them, the struggle would not seem like a negative experience.
I tapped into my inner strength and my faith to develop resilience to make it through. I struggled to keep a job because of the difficulty with my son’s behavior and the numerous services that I was coordinating for him.
I then began having health issues that affected my physical mobility which led me to realize that I had to take time to see about my own needs. I moved to central Florida where the weather helped to improve my declining ability to walk. After moving to Florida, 6 years ago, I found a job with low stress and good flexibility, so I was finally able to work consistently and support my family.
Still needing to take care of my adult autistic son (he prefers autistic) and my own health needs, having flexibility in my job was very helpful. However, with the difficulties I faced, I wanted to help other parents in similar situations and since there was not really much to assist parents from a lived experience, I founded The SoulFlow Institute and Global YOUniversity to help parents build resilience, recognize their self-worth, enhance their emotional well-being, and develop a guided life plan that includes their hopes, dreams, and goals!
I have written a couple of short books including an audio version. I created a life coaching program and I recorded a mindfulness-based, self-awareness podcast (75+ episodes, each less than 15 minutes). I also returned to school to pursue my bachelor’s degree, maintaining a 3.45 GPA, while working full-time, and living in my vehicle for the past 10 months!
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
I lived in a homeless shelter when my children were young. When my children and I moved to different states a few times, we lived in hotels for a while until I was able to find an apartment.
The first move I made was from up north to North Carolina. It was me and my 3 children. We only took a couple of duffle bags full of clothes and toys. We started over several times, because it was challenging to maintain a job. My son has very aggressive physical behavior and I was constantly called in for meetings at all of the schools he attended.
Years later, I remarried. Recently, my son, who is now 24 years old, decided to move back up north with his father, whom he had been estranged from for many years. Despite our finances, my health/mobility issues, and my son having never flown before, I booked a flight and flew with him from Orlando to Pennsylvania. Months later, my wife and I drove his therapy dog to him up north and I have been helping navigate services for my son long distance, as Power of Attorney.
With the high costs of living in Florida, which is where I need to be to maintain my mobility/physical health, we faced eviction. Although we were able to resolve it at first, we could not maintain it months later, and we were evicted. My job and my wife’s job were not enough to make ends meet in a modest apartment in Lockhart, FL. So, we ended up living in our vehicle. It has been 10 months of living in our vehicle; finding safe and stealth places to park, temperature extremes, heavy rain downpours, a tornado touching down less than 8 miles away, hurricane warnings, working, school (3.45 GPA), showering at the YMCA, and cooking meals in a hotpot. Yet, we are resilient. I’m on FMLA leave while striving to resolve our situation. Two months ago, my wife received an Autism diagnosis in addition to the ADHD diagnosis she received 20 years ago, which are affecting her in opposite ways and she has not been able to find work that coincides with her strengths and abilities.
Temporarily, while on FMLA from my job in Orlando, my wife and I are with relatives in GA, while developing strategies to return to my job in Florida and the warm weather, as my health and mobility are beginning to decline again because the weather is not the same as in Florida.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I have a unique combination of employment, entrepreneurship, and education. I work for a health center. I am a Minister, Life Coach, and returning student. I am pursuing my Bachelor of Science degree in Community Health Education so that I can also become a Certified Health Educator. My goal is to help individuals and families identify and resolve factors that affect us physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, and in every dimension of wellness (when I say spiritual, I do not mean religious).
I am a proponent of wellness as desired and defined by the individual.
My focus is to assist and guide the journey for the most optimal life that one desires to obtain.
I self-published two books, including an audio version. I developed a method called The PERMEATE Method (TM), which is designed to help develop the ability to stop allowing external factors from permeating the inner core and essence of who we are. Soon, I will have an affordable self-paced online course available for anyone seeking guidance, but may not have the time for life coaching services. I am also working on a journal to complement The PERMEATE Method (TM) as well. Both books are short. They are designed as a quick read for busy people, especially anyone raising a child who is neurodiverse or taking care of an aging parent. I also designed the cover for both books. I am a self-taught graphic designer. I have volunteered in hospice and adult literacy. I also scribe ministry notes during weekly worship service, nearly verbatim, with high accuracy, in real time.
As a Life Coach, I focus on “Autism Moms,” who are unable to take any time for themselves because they are constantly being everything to everyone else. I guide in building greater resilience to manage the challenges of Autism Life.
Pursuing dreams and goals, and maintaining our own personal health, all seem impossible while raising children, especially children who are neurodiverse, and especially while facing criticism from a “narcissistic” type co-parent or critically overbearing family members who don’t have the lived experience of being an “Autism Mom.” That’s where my podcast, books, online course, and life coaching services come in to assist.
Is there anyone you’d like to thank or give credit to?
I have many to credit for my success and resilience. I define success as resilience. Financial stability is certainly to come in the future, but my strength and resilience is resoundingly strong and has been all my life! It was predicated on the firm foundation laid by my maternal grandmother who held high value for Faith and Family.
Certainly, the development of my own Faith and personal relationship with The Divine.
My Mom has become my biggest cheerleader. My best friend of 35+ years, DeMetrius, has by far been The Chief Encourager throughout my life. He has helped me to see me for who I am and the amazing mother I am. Another close friend since elementary school who recently lost his life encouraged me as well, RIP Jason Barthel Moore.
My children encourage me every day that I breathe and beyond all breaths, simply by their existence and in seeing the amazing adults they have become. I am driven by the legacy of having a grandson to persist diligently in life for.
A close elementary school, childhood “boyfriend” was a strong presence and support while I was experiencing sexual trauma that he was unaware of. He was truly a destiny helper to me although he doesn’t realize that.
My wife, Shakira, has been a very strong source of emotional support in many ways. We have been married for more than 11 years and counting. She came into my life and accepted me and my three children for who we are.
I had another close friend who died many years ago. She was the mother of a boyfriend at the time. For many years, even after no longer dating her son, she always made time for me, encouraged me, and supported me in my goals, RIP April M.
I have a host of friends, other Autism Moms (L.T.), and relatives who have been supportive as well, including my Pastor and church family.
There are celebrities that I have also looked up to in developing my inner strength and resilience: Queen Latifah, Heavy D. (RIP), and Maya Angelou (RIP)! In each of their own modalities, they are the epitome of strength, resilience, and speaking their mind for what they believe.
My mother has echoed throughout my life, the adage, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything!” I have since applied this idea to include standing for what is important in protecting my peace, personal energy, and well-being, while also pursuing my goals, hopes, dreams, and desires!
Pricing:
- Podcast episodes: Free
- 15-min. Mindset “Makeover” Call: Free
- Books/Audiobook: $3 to $25
- Workshops/Speaking: Contact Me for Current Pricing
- Coaching Services/Programs: Contact Me for Frequent Promotions
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.SoulFlowYou.org
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soul.flow.you/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Soul.Flow.You/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/soulflowyou/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SoulFlowYou/videos
- Other: https://open.spotify.com/show/2DTAcknx4fN27NKQxX48OB
Image Credits
BGM Photography
Eileen Buckley, WBFO News
